Whether you are a single or engaged lady, you need to read this.

My heart bleeds when I see how some men treat women, and get away with it, I have no one to blame other than this women who have made themselves what they ought not to be to the man.

In the beginning, God created the woman to play a special role in the life of the man. Women are not an afterthought of God's creation. The fact that your desire shall be to your husband does not mean you should splash your desire on every man that comes into your life.

That you're commanded to submit to your husband does not mean that you should slave your life to every Tim, Dick and Harry. Choose wisely - a man who is worthy of your submission - so that you don't regret in marriage.

What are the things I must not be to a man?

1. Don't be an OPTION

Some men are double daters, they'll keep one serious relationship with a woman they'll be committed to, and another relationship with a lady, where she becomes an option.

When the main girl denies him of certain privileges, he'll run to the one that's the option or the available one.

You will know that you're just an option or an available one in his life when he tells you that you he loves you than the other one. A serious man don't double date or rob Peter to pay Paul.

Don't be an option, make yourself a treasure.

2. Don't be the AVAILABLE girl

The available one is cheap to get, it'll only cost him little cash or flattering to pave his way into her heart, but the suitable one for his life is usually difficult to find.

The available one can come around his place for weekends, but the suitable one is the type he'd pay her dowry and the necessary things to get her legally as his wife.

You will make yourself available when you don't know what you want or you've not discovered the essence of life. You become available when you don't know the roles you are to play in a man's life, and wait for the right one.

3. Don't be his test tube

I don't know where some men got this report that unused sperms are stored in the body. The truth is that unused sperms are reused by the body.

You'll make yourself his test tube when he only comes to you for sex, and you sheepishly believe that you are helping him. Who deceived you to believe that having sex relieves him of abdominal pain?

See, smart guys pry on the ignorance of ignorant ladies.

4. Don't be the avenue for him to ease his sexual urge

It's believed that men have a stronger urge for sex than women. However the case may be, don't be a channel for him to ease his sexual urge.

The only time some men would profess their love to you is when they want to have sex with you. Don't be cheap my dear.

See yourself the way God sees you - His temple - not a sex object.

5. Don't be a "fish brain"

Some men have concluded that some women have fish brain. But I disagree and agree in some sense.

I disagree because some women are smart, and they act like a man both emotionally and mentally. They're fast thinkers - proactive and see things from a logical perspective.

But in other sense, I agree because some women are just too emotional. They think with their heart rather than use their head. They allow feelings to drive them without considering realities.

When you make yourself a fish brain woman, by being easy to manipulate, some men will take advantage of you. With the book title of Steve Covey, I say unto you, "Act like a lady but think like a man."

6. Don't be his ATM

Some men can pretend or promise you heaven and earth just because of what they will get from you.

Wake up!

A real man works with his hands and brain. It's not a crime to help a man when he's in need but when that help becomes an obligation, you are his "ATM".

Some men are lazy, I mean very lazy. As you see them in movies, so they exist in real life. He can't work but wants to use the good things of life from your own sweat.

Any man that's depending on your for his living as already made you his "ATM". Don't think he'd change when you marry him, he'll only become a liability to you - a wheelbarrow husband.

7. Don't be his wife when he's yet to see you in his life

Some ladies have the mentality that once they're in a relationship with a man, they must automatically assume the position of his wife. Mind you, being engaged doesn't mean that you're married to him.

Stop it!

It's the way you treat yourself that a man will carry you.

If you make yourself cheap, he'll never consider you worthy.

Don't assume the role of a wife because he promised you marriage or puts a ring in your finger. "I will marry you" isn't the same thing as him taking the marriage oath with you in the presence of his friends and families.

Don't build your life with him when he's keeping you away from his life. Don't play the role of a wife when he hasn't officially done the needful to make you his wife.

Proposal isn't marriage, neither is introduction or court marriage the overall thing if he hasn't pay your dowry.

Stop giving him the benefits of a wife when he still sees you as a girlfriend.

And if you are already a wife material 1000 yards, don't be quick to dispense the wifey virtues, wait until you are married.

8. Do not be his cook

Men loves good food, and some knows women that can make good food.

It's not a crime to cook for a man, but never stoop so low to make yourself his cook.

A guy I know, a single guy was telling me about some ladies he has who cook for him every weekend when he sends them money. Why become an available cook when you can pursue what matters in your life?

Even if marriage is "hungrying" you, wait until you're married to him. Being engaged doesn't make you married. If he wants to know if you can cook, invite him for lunch with your family or friends.

Who says a man shouldn't learn how to cook? And if he can't, he should see it as a privilege when you cook for him, and not a duty. If you're a good cook, start a business with that so he can become your customer daada ni.

But if you're dutifully engaged, you won't be idle to be his cook. How can you have time to be cooking on weekends when you have purpose, business or assignment to fulfill?

Lastly...

9. Don't be his "slave"

Do you know that some ladies have literally made themselves slaves to some men? Submission doesn't mean subjugation.

Because he helped you financially in the past, does not mean that he should now lord that over you. But if you're lazy, he'll take advantage of that.

Why not quit depending on him for your financial needs and get a job?

You have what it takes to be up and doing financially.

See, God gave you two hands, ten fingers, two legs and a brain. Think, and stop wishing. Don't use what your mama gave you, it has bitter consequences.

How can he be talking to you anyhow?

Don't be what you should not be to a man, so that your life won't be what it should not.

What else do you think a lady should not be to a man? Freely share your thoughts so others can read and learn.